Here is the Beehive

I have no idea why this book is called this; 'Here is the Beehive' by Sarah Crossan. This is a very intense little book, about a woman, Ana, conducting a somewhat obsessive affair, only to have the object of her affection die. Connor is dead, and she is grieving, and she can't tell anyone. Gradually she reveals stuff about their relationship and their separate lives. The reader watches her struggle with her loss, trying to maintain some pretence of normal life for her family, all the time thinking of her lover. I sympathised deeply with her, even when she makes bad, ridiculous choices. I sympathised with her husband as he watches his wife unfathomably crumble. It is laid out like poems on the page, short lines and broken paragraphs, very effective for getting across the nature of her thought patterns. They had met initially when he becomes a client at her firm, but then as the solicitor responsible for overseeing Connor's will Ana finds herself inadvertently befriending his wife Rebecca. Initially she is trying to sneak a closer look inside his life, but it becomes something other than that. It is a story about love, and secrets, and obsession, and learning how to get over someone who was never yours. 

"I'd seen a photo on your phone so already knew

Rebecca owned a pair of

royal blue

leather gloves.

I hated her for it - 

discovering she had

the nerve for such a statement,

an extravagance.

It was hard to know

whether or not a brown pair, unlined,

could compare,

but I bought them in the January sale

from Selfridges

and hid them in a drawer,

to wear with you

when it was cold.

I never found the courage.

And I never found out whether or not

the way to win you was

to be different to Rebecca,

to be better than her

or simply    

        to be her completely." (p.115-6)