Become the Oldest

I started reading Pride and Prejudice to Claire the day in June when she fell out of bed and we spent many hours waiting, first for the carers, and then for the ambulance, and have pottered slowly through it occasionally while Nat was out walking the dog. Thursday I skipped over the middle and dashed ahead to Bingley's proposal and the wonderful visit by Lady De Bourgh to the Bennets. Who needs all that trauma with Lydia and Whickham, let's just have the happy ending. Gina arrived while I was reading. She has been absorbed and become one of the clan now; she nearly missed the chance for a final visit, offering to take care of Harshi and the children so Mat could come back last weekend.

 

Claire took her leave of us yesterday afternoon, making me, by default, the eldest child. I have become so subsumed by caring for her that I have found it hard to recall the person she was before this cancer stole her away. While sitting with her these last weeks we have been trawling boxes of old photos and this one of her playing badminton in the garden at Battlewell was the one that broke my heart, because this is the person I know. She has been there my entire life, I don't know what to do without her.

Claire Frampton 17/10/1962 - 28/08/2026

Stay safe. Be kind. Hold your loved ones close.

Agatha and Tom

You may or may not know that Agatha Christie was born in Torquay. The house is no longer there but a stone plinth marks the spot (not far from my sister's house) and Monkey (visiting from Japan) and I walked over to take a photo. I have never read her, so we proceeded to the library to seek out a story. The librarian was obviously a huge fan and I asked her for a recommendation. We left with a copy of 'At Bertram's Hotel' which we took it in turns to read.  I was most disappointed to get three quarters of the way through the book without anyone being murdered; the plot was somewhat more subtle than I expected and Miss Marple only played a minor role in the proceedings. I did however enjoy it very much; I liked the way she draws her characters, lots of little vignettes, exchanges between people that builds up a picture of the scene. The whole book, and much of her writing I imagine, is a beautiful period piece, as is Bertram's Hotel. Short and sweet and you could gobble it up in one sitting.

"The fog had come down over London suddenly that evening. chief-Inspector Davy pulled up his coat collar and turned into Pond Street. Walking slowly, like a man who was thinking of something else, he did not look particularly purposeful but anyone who knew him well would realise that his mind was wholly alert. He was prowling as a cat prowls before the moment comes for it to pounce on its prey." (p.142)

Tom Cox is also a Devon based author and I have been enjoying his eclectic story collection 'Help The Witch'. I very much appreciate his weird humour on Bluesky, posting photos of random sheep that he meets out walking, very tempting old doors and curious inter-dimensional portals. I will definitely seek out others. Here is a snippet from 'Nine Tiny Stories About Houses' about a young man visiting a house where his father had once recorded with his band:

"An old wise person whose memory was probably failing and who hadn't been there anyway once wrote in a book that my dad broke down one of the doors of this house with an axe when he was under the influence of alcohol and hard drugs, but who was to say if that was true? I slept well in the house. I did not know if my bedroom was the one whose door my dad might or might not have broken down with an axe. It could have been. There was a one in six chance. The flagstone floor featured a carpet of dust and there were unpacked boxes everywhere, but the beds were perfectly made and the sheets felt expensive. The morning was cold as we drove back up the chasm, listening to the record made in the house, which from then on would always sound like cold and dust and terrible eggs to me, in the best way possible." (p.91)

Popping books and puzzles back to the library, it's just at the bottom of the road. 

Here in my sister's house the carers come and go, the nurses come and go, the family come and go. My sister is still here, just.

Stay safe. Be kind.

Hiatus

So, there has been something of a hiatus, not so much in the reading as in life. 'Mere' by Danielle Giles and 'Awake in the Floating City' by Susanna Kwan were both book club books, which, as the year has mostly gone so far, I felt ambivalent about. Both suffered from the same thing in a way, that the author was not sure what kind of book they wanted to write. Especially Floating City; it is sold as some kind of post-apocalypse but that is barely mentioned and morphs into a relationship book with a sideline in artistic expression. Loved Louise Doughty's 'A Bird in Winter', a fast paced drama about a woman agent who goes on the run on discovering high level double agents, excellent escapism. Eurotrash by Christian Kracht was pressed on my by mum, a slightly surreal tale of a mother/son relationship as they trail around Europe with a pile of cash and a colostomy bag. Also listened to 'Cold Enough for Snow' by Jessica Au on the train to Devon, which was a delight. A story of a mother and daughter travelling in Japan.

So, it feels a little as if life came to a halt, several months ago, the day before my birthday, when I phoned mum and she told me my sister has a brain tumour. Very little else has been occupying my thoughts. It is surreal to watch people around you carrying on as normal. So, it has become a thing that is not just happening to her, but to our whole family, and we are closing in around her to take care of her. 

Christopher Hitchens book Mortality, written as he was dying of cancer was not designed to be comforting, but I found it to be, because the temptation is to pretend that this is not happening and it helped to find someone unafraid.

So, there will be something of a hiatus.

Stay safe. Be kind.

Reflections on Monkey

When Monkey first went to Japan back in March 2022 she started sending us 'pyjama selfies', because the hotels provide pyjamas for guests, such a wonderful idea. This was our first pyjama selfie and Tish said we looked like we had joined a cult. 

While I had the overarching plan for our trip to Shikoku it was Monkey who worked out the details; she knew when the trains were running, she found interesting places to see and knew when they were open, she checked what the local specialities to eat were. She found the garden and the workshops and the boat trip, and shared her wisdom about life in Japan. She made the whole trip a delight. I could not have done it without her and would not have wanted to do it with anyone else.

She has struggled with anxiety and depression for much of her 20s and to see how learning Japanese and going to Japan has transformed her makes me love the place even more. She has grown in confidence and become a real grown-up, but retains her childlike enthusiasm for everything she does:

dancing on the udon dough ... don't ask me why

insisting on putting on the entire set of Samurai armour

ice-cream pretty much every day

crossing the vine bridge

and skimming stones in the river down below

We rode bikes and climbed mountains together

We managed to balance the things that I wanted to do and the things she wanted to do to create the perfect holiday ... but we hardly have any photos of the two of us together.

Stay safe. Be kind. 

Reflections on Japan

When you plan something for as long as I planned my trip to Japan the comedown was always going to take a while. We packed every day with interesting and delightful experiences and I came back knowing it cannot be the only time I visit. As a place Japan manages to feel both familiar and utterly different. I was very keen to follow Monkey's advice so as not to be seen as a 'bloody foreigner' by doing stupid, disrespectful things. I confess, I did not manage to speak much Japanese.

Some things will get their own post but this one is an overview of the trip, not necessarily highlights. We tried not to be distracted from what we were doing or seeing by taking too many photos, allowing ourselves to just look and enjoy. 

After a couple of days in Kawagoe and Tokyo we took the Shinkansen to Hiroshima. This was the one place I had very much wanted to visit and really the only tourist stop, though it feels weird to call the Peace Memorial that. It was utterly overwhelming to see the shell of the building and to learn more and understand the impact, both immediate and long term, that the bomb had on the city and people of Hiroshima. The building was iconic even before the war and it marks pretty much ground zero of the explosion and was one of only a few brick structures that remained standing, and after much local debate the city decided to retain this stark reminder of the bomb's impact as part of their commitment to strive for a peaceful future. The Peace Museum tells the background history and then tells the stories of many of the people whose lives were affected, some who died and others who survived. Some of it is quite graphic and not for the faint hearted or those who want their history nicely sanitised. 

From Hiroshima we travelled to Onomichi which is the start of the Shimanami cycle route across the inland sea. This was taken from the top of a small cablecar and looks across the sea towards Shikoku (though I think all the islands are in the way). Mountains were quite a big feature of our trip.

Over two days we cycled about 100 kilometres stopping off half way on Omishima at the Miyaura-Goten hostel, eating wild boar curry and watching the sunset behind the mountains. It was a wonderful traditional old building with 'shoes off by the door please', sliding doors, futons and tatami mats. It was just the kind of place I had hoped to stay since the rest of the time we had boring modern hotels.

The final stretch across to Shikoku is the Kurushima Kaikyo bridge which is 4km long:

We then travelled to Matsuyama to hire a car and spent the next week exploring the island of Shikoku.

We had meals in random roadside restaurants:

Saw the Pacific Ocean (from the other side):

We took tea in the teahouse in the Ritsurin Garden:

Made udon noodles:

Made paper at the Paper Museum:

Crossed the vine bridge in the Iya valley:

Got used to the squatty toilets:

Learned quite a bit of Japanese history, such as the significance of Sakamoto Ryoma:

Saw some castles ... and learned more Japanese history:

Saw lots, and lots and lots of cherry blossom:

... and very much admired the lack of rubbish anywhere that people happened to be gathering:

Walked the very narrow pavements without incident

Travelled by Shinkansen, train, bus, tram, bike, car, cablecar, chairlift, 

riverboat and ferry (back across the Seto Inland Sea to Naoshima):

Spent the night Japanese style:

and visited lots of onsens ... but you cant take photos inside so here is the outside of the Dogo Onsen, one of the oldest hot springs in Japan, claiming a 3,000 year history:

And I didn't use a knife and fork for a fortnight ... but more of that to come.

... meanwhile in Japan

 

Monkey Sensei had a random day off and took herself to DisneySea and had a ten hour day queueing and riding.

Below ... much to her amusement, very expensive skittles in the konbini :

Jellyfish at the aquarium:

A shrine where you can go and pray for your canine friends:

And more magnificent views:

Counting down to my own visit now, only five months.

Stay safe. Be kind. Plan your holiday.

More Japan ...

Tish and Jun have had a packed fortnight of doing a lot of very Japanese stuff ... and some not necessarily very Japanese stuff.

Below ... the 'Otter Café':

Meeting Kanoshizu, who is a Maiko or trainee Geisha, to learn about that tradition:

Becoming Samurai:

Of course, the Studio Ghibli museum:

And at last, some capybara, in their own onsen:

A disturbing encounter with an ostrich (at the zoo not just wandering randomly):

And, more worryingly, walking a suspension bridge with an a typhoon on the way:

Looking down from the Tokyo Skytree:

Monkey had to go back to work yesterday and Tish and Jun come home tomorrow.

It has been an amazing adventure for them.