Sunday 31 May 2009

Ozzy and felting failure (ish)

Lewis and Rachel went home this morning, and took Ozzy with them, but I thought I should add a picture of him for posterity. He looks a bit like a miniature dinosaur in this photo. He has been fun to have around, very fond of sitting on people's heads and making a dash for the back of the sofa.
So things calmed down a bit after they left (they had spent the morning playing Rock Band on the Xbox) and we finished off the birthday cake for breakfast. Yesterday a nice little piece of fabric arrived, it is pink/blue shot chiffon, so I wanted to do another nuno experiment. I laid it out, damped it, wrapped it up in bubble wrap and rolled it for half an hour and the fibres did seem to be bonding with the fabric, but then when I did the 'shocking' things took a wrong turn. Basically the fibres were more keen on bonding with each other than with the fabric. It could be that I did not put enough roving on it. It is bonded with the fabric but only just. What I have ended up with is a kind of cobwebby effect very fine over the surface of the chiffon (click the photo and you can see it more clearly) but the fibres have not gathered the fabric at all except around the edge and even there they are only very loosely connected and it just looks a bit tatty.
So I hope it is a case of learning something from my experiments. I may try using more roving and rolling for much longer to see if I can get a better effect. Or maybe buy some real silk. Just as an aside, if you have a piece of fabric and do not know what it is made of, take a small piece and put a lit match to it, if it burns to ash then it is a natural fibre like cotton or silk, but if it melts and forms little lumps of plastic then it is man-made fibre.

Saturday 30 May 2009


Yesterday was Lewis' 21st birthday. It does make me feel a bit old but whatever...

This is Tish, M, Lewis, Rachel (Lewis' girlfriend), Jacob and me. Excuse the scruffy looking house behind us, we did take a nice one by the bushes but the sun was too bright and everyone was squinting too much. I don't get all my kids together in one place very often. We went out for dinner and came home for cake, though I had half of Jacob's creme brulee as well as my own so felt too sick to have any. The kids all sat out in the garden chatting till late. I like having grown-up children, I like the fact they have reached the age where they can hang out together without coming to blows:-)
Today I took them down for the open day at Hartpury college, where they just got to play with the animals for a couple of hours. Then we went over to an excellent reptile shop near Newent, called Rainforest Reptiles; it seems to be becoming an all consuming interest, especially for Lewis.
... I take it all back, they have just been having a water fight in the garden after Lewis found an old water gun in the garage ... but then he has cooked dinner.

Friday 29 May 2009

First Nuno felt

I bought myself a 5 metre length of muslin from ebay, it seemed a cheaper way to experiment than with silk, though I am guessing that the overall effect is not so good, but then I can also have a go at dyeing some lengths. This piece started out about 150cm by 30cm (approximately). I was going to take a photo of it all laid out but forgot, then when I tried to unroll the damp package it threatened to fall apart so I didn't risk it. So I laid an outline in undyed roving, mainly to give it some shape and then added a stripe down the centre with shades of blue and green. I am thinking I put too much on, as the tutorial on Working with felt said to scatter a very fine layer (sorry, you can only access the instructions if you are a member I think). So, basically the instructions are:
  1. add fine layer of roving to your background fabric
  2. damp it down with a spray bottle, warm soapy water (not hot)
  3. smooth over with bubble wrap to ensure it is just damp all over
  4. roll it up with bubble wrap
  5. roll 200 times, turn and roll 200 times the other way (I probably did more than this, took about half an hour ... very dull, have some music on or something.)
  6. check to see if bits of roving have migrated through the fabric (using a dark colour helped here cos you could see it quite obviously), if not then roll some more
  7. part way through I decided to fold over the fluffy bits all around the edge, I had been thinking of just leaving them raggy but was glad I did as it forms a nice neat edging.
  8. when you think the roving is pretty well attached (give it a little tug, it should not all come away from the fabric) put the whole thing in a sink of hot water and swish gently.
  9. squeeze out and rub with some soap
  10. whack off the floor (or table or whatever) 10 times
  11. rinse in hot again, squeeze again, soap again and whack again
  12. it will shrink down pretty fast doing this so stretch it out each time to see how it is coming along, and continue until you have the desired effect or until you get bored
  13. rinse in cold water and hang to dry

Now I really like the 'top' side with the coloured design on it but i think that the idea is to show off the other side that gets this interesting puckered effect, caused by the wool fibres migrating through the fabric and shrinking around it. I certainly can see what the interest is because there is an endless variety of effects you could achieve depending on what fabric you used and how you arrange the roving.

Also made a small felt cover for the camera. It was supposed to be for Dunk's new camera but came out a bit too wide so will use it for the old one which is slightly more chunky. (I really like the colours on this but fear it may be a little too psychedelic for him:-)

Thursday 28 May 2009

Lizard Cake

For a tutorial on how to make a Lizard Cake please visit here (updated 07/03/12)

It's okay to put it up now cos Lewis won't see it, and I am particularly pleased with how he looks:-)

Tuesday 26 May 2009

jobs done...

The fun of this (how sad am I) is that I can add little things I do to the list just for the fun of ticking them off:
  • get new watch strap for Tish
  • buy new colour cartridge for the printer
So I did the bathroom ceiling and the fridge freezer, walked to the post office and got the car tax, then made a strap, buttons and loops for the green bag I made yesterday but then have spent much of the afternoon browsing the photographs of people's projects on the 'Working with Felt' site, but it is time well spent as it is very inspirational.
Oh yes, forgot to add the most important job:
  • make birthday cake

And I finished off sewing together the green bag:

Jobs for the week

Ok, last time I had a week off I wrote myself a list of things I wanted to get done ... and I found it an excellent way of not wasting the week browsing on ebay, which I could very easily do.
(this is in no particular order)
  • make list! (I like a few quick things so I can tick them off to encourage myself)
  • bathroom ceiling mould needs cleaning (nasty neck aching job ... we really need a dehumidifier)
  • defrost and clean fridge freezer (two days after doing this last time someone left the door ajar and re-frosted the freezer)
  • try and finish rug for Lewis (not likely, only about 1/3 done) and probably pop to yarn shop in Shipston as I am not sure I have enough wool to finish it anyway.
  • wash sofa covers (but need a nice dry day so I can hang them out)
  • do some more duvet covers (depending on stash of fabric)
  • go to pet shop for food for the reptiles
  • clean house (but probably not till Thursday, the cat has stopped molting but is tracking vegetation in from the garden attached to her incredibly long fluff.) (did clean very thoroughly last week, even M and Jacob's rooms got done, so will be a quick hoover round.) (apparently that is "moulting" as was my first instinct, damn that google american dictionary.)
  • kitchen floor (may persuade Tish to do this:-)
  • mow back lawn
  • more felt
  • return knitting book to library
  • maybe (big maybe) get some of the stuff listed on ebay that is sitting in a bag in the corner of our bedroom (but only so I can claim all the mess belongs to Dunk)
  • write to landlord about rotten garage roof
  • wash car (or maybe take to carwash)
  • pay car tax ... very important!
  • more felt:-)
My son Lewis and his girlfriend Rachel are coming to visit on Thursday for the weekend; it is his 21st birthday on Friday and we are all going out to dinner. They are bringing Ozzy (or 'Trogdor' as Jacob insists on calling him) the Water Dragon. And then everyone is going out to the Open Day at Hartpury on Saturday.
So, a busy week.

Monday 25 May 2009

More bank holiday felt

I am just on a bit of a roll here so, having made the porridge quite early and done a bit of blog browsing first thing I got up with the intention of making good use of the day. I did have to do last night's washing up before I could make any more mess, and contend with intermittent texts from M throughout the day (still feeling bored but less ill).
Last thing yesterday I risked another experiment and did layers of pink and yellow around a tennis ball (Dunk did venture into the nettles to retrieve the basket ball but I decided it was a bit large for a first try.) So this morning I cut it open with a craft knife. The inner layer had not felted very well (I had been worried about working it too hard as it might not bond to the next layer if it was too well felted ... but then this is experimentation) so I just played around with the shape as I tried to get it to felt together a bit more. Basically I just flattened the bottoms of each half to make them into little bowls. I trimmed the top edges so that the coloured layers shows up a bit more, and strung the little beads on a bit of silk thread.
Next I did another pouch, this time it is a little larger and I remembered to round the bottom of the pattern piece. I used a variety of green shades, layered and criss-crossed with each other and it has come out with a slightly 'marbled' kind of effect. It is lined in yellow (though you can't see that of course) and I am thinking of doing a long strap to match and probably a fastening with a felt bead again.
Then Dunk and I went to the shop, during which outing I noticed how worn my purse was getting (it is a really lovely tye-dyed velvet thing that I have had for ages), so I thought maybe a little wallet to hold my cards would be the thing to do. Now I have to admit it is a bit of a fluke that it came out exactly the right size, though I did just make it a bit smaller than the one I did yesterday. It has stripes on one side and spots on the other in matching colours. I am going to probably put a little button and loop at the top just to stop them falling out. And I was smart-arsed and created a little divider inside so it has two compartments, you can see it in the photo, it is yellow one side and orange the other, and the whole thing has pink lining the inside. The top edge is a little uneven but then I am still struggling with making things come out the right size.
Then these dreds are Tish's. I made a thin cord out of the very last bit of my home-dyed and wrapped it with some silk waste, then I was messing around making tiny felted rings (which shrank too much to get on my finger) and Tish came in and liked the idea of making dreds (she has some shop bought that she used to tie in her hair) and proceeded to punctuate her college work with coming down to raid my stash.

Sunday 24 May 2009


So here it is; first attempt at making a slideshow to show what I did making the waistcoat. Didn't seem to want to let me add comments to the photos, but never mind, I'm sure you get the gist of it.

And this is me in my new waistcoat, it was so lovely and warm today it dried in the sun in no time:

Then I had a bit of inspiration for the pouch. I made a couple of little beads from the left over roving, sewed them on as buttons, and added little loops made from the home-spun yarn that I had dyed with the same colours. M is feeling bored and lonely at her dad's house for half term so I thought I would send it to her to cheer her up. I enjoyed making the beads, it was very quick and simple for such a nice effect, so I then proceeded to make some more little beads out of the remaining roving ... maybe a little bracelet is coming next.

Bank Holiday Felting

I think the skin on my hands has shrunk nearly as much as the roving this morning. I dyed the last of my undyed roving last week, in the same peachy pinks and oranges that I used on a recent batch of home-spun yarn. It did spread quite a bit while it sat overnight so the patches of yellow were mainly turned to orange but on the whole it came out lovely. So it was sat there just begging to be used for something nice (and I have some shop bought purple blend on the spindle at the moment that has been neglected for the last fortnight) so more felting was definitely in order today.
First attempt was a small pouch done around a piece of bubble-wrap that I cut out of a padded envelope. Just playing around really, having watched a video on Youtube of someone doing this project. I embellished it with bits of dyed silk waste. I forgot to round off the corners of the pattern piece so the corners had come out a bit 'pointy' so I had to work them quite hard to shrink down and look a bit more curved. Am not sure how to fasten it shut as I think the flap is a little too small.
Second one started out as a bowl made on a semi-circular pattern, I rolled the edge down as it was rather taller than I had initially intended:
but when you turn it over it becomes the cutest baby hat ever:-) (again embellished inside and out with some lovely lilac silk waste.)
But then I got on to the thing I had really been thinking about. I got out the pattern piece I had made for the previous waistcoat and, taking a bit of the thick plastic I use to cover the kitchen table, I cut another one about 2/3 inches bigger all round. It took quite a long time, and a great deal of rolling and re-rolling as I was nervous about it being thick enough (I only had a small fistful of the dyed roving left in the end). There are a couple of patches where it is a bit thin as it was very hard to tell the thickness when you have two layers with plastic in between. I did not add any decoration as I just love the variation in the colours that run through the felt and did not want to detract from that. It is lovely to have the sunshine today so I can start taking my photos outside so you get a much better impression of the colours. Am going to learn how to make a slideshow so I can put up the 'process' pictures without taking up too many column inches of blog.

Friday 22 May 2009

Red felt scarf

After the relatively successful felted waistcoat I have been preoccupied with plans for different felting projects. When I made a small piece a couple of weeks ago when we had some friends visiting I used some home-spun yarn as the decoration and I had been wondering about using yarn within the felt to act partly as decoration and partly to add structure. I laid out a thin layer of some red roving and then added a random layer of quite thick home-spun yarn, in a slightly darker shade of red. It started out 60" long (done on the kitchen floor because the table is not big enough.)

This second photo shows how it looked in close up. I damped it down between the layers with hot soapy water, then added a very fine layer of roving over the yarn in the darker shade and damped it again.
It was very fragile so I did not try rubbing it at all, just tucked the edges in very gently, then pressed some bubble wrap on the top to spread the moisture and rolled it up around the rolling pin. I read the 'rolling pin' suggestion somewhere on a felting blog and it works very well, keeps the roll in shape and makes the whole process easier.
After about 20 minutes I risked opening it out and just worked at rubbing it with very soapy hands until it was holding shape. Next stage I tend to screw it up in a ball and rub vigourously on the bubble-wrap, then rinse thoroughly (the final length is about 42"). It has little patches that are a bit thin but on the whole I managed to achieve the soft flexibility that I was after (click on photo to see it larger). I think my next experiment is going to have to be some nuno felt.

Tish home!

So Tish is home. I can tell because I have had no computer for three days:-)

And there is this huge pile of nice clean clothes (it was dry Wednesday so I made the most of it and emptied her bag straight into the machine). We did take a lovely 'Welcome Home' photo under the 'Welcome Home' banner that M and I made, but of course it is mixed in with the 400+ photographs that she took while she was in Borneo so I was unable to get at it. I will leave it to her to tell you all about it, I think it is going to take several weeks of blog posts to do justice to all her animal and cultural encounters, so do go over and visit her blog and find out.

Sunday 17 May 2009

Felted Waistcoat

I have only tried flat pieces of felt so far in my experiments and wanted to have a go at something a little more adventurous (what with Tish riding elephants and all that) so I had in my head an idea to make a waistcoat, all in one piece with no seams. I used a piece of bubble-wrap and simply cut some armhole shapes at the side. The back was laid out first and left with a bit of overlap at the places where you want it to join i.e. the sides and shoulders. Then it is wetted all over and very careful turned over (with the bubble-wrap attached) and more dry roving is added on the other side. You have to smooth the stuff from the other side round to join at the sides and shoulders and tuck in the bits round the arm holes and at the neck and lower edges where you do not want it to join. First picture shows it all wetted and still rather fragile. I rolled it up with more bubble-wrap both on top and underneath. It was quite a fat bundle in the end.
After it has been rolled for a while, re-wrapped and rolled in the other direction, and then just generally rubbed all over with very soapy hands for quite a bit it should be holding together. One of the shoulders threatened to come apart when I turned it so I folded it back together and worked hard rubbing the damaged bit. Once you feel it is more secure and has begun to shrink you can open it out, remove the bubble-wrap pattern and just rub vigourously on both sides.
I then rinsed it out in hot then cold water and whacked it off the table a few times and then tugged it back into shape. It has shrunk quite a bit, probably 30%, so will not fit me but am sure I can find someone willing to try it out. I think I am going to have to buy some larger sheets of bubble wrap for larger projects.
M kept pointing out that the design is off-centre and does not believe me when I said it was meant to be. I am quite pleased with the overall effect, it has felted quite evenly and kept it's basic shape well. The edging probably needed more attention but I may add some embroidery or something to tidy it up a bit.

Wednesday 13 May 2009

Cookies and ice cream

Tish has been trying to find a decent cookie recipe for ages now, with not much success. Then I went to my sister's house and she had made the most yummy chocolate chip cookies, which she found on the BBC site (so go there and try them). I was craving cookies again last night so invested in a bar of Green and Blacks this morning and made some myself. I had been reading in the New Internationalist recently about the use of child slave labour in cocoa bean production and have since been trying to only buy any chocolate that is fair trade. It is a subject very close to my heart. It seems an easy thing to do; to see a situation that is plainly exploitative and to be able to do something simple and direct about it. I have been drinking the same Tanzanian tea from Traidcraft for about 25 years now. I used to have to go specially to one of their shops to get it, now it is great to see fair trade products on supermarket shelves or to simply order a box online every couple of months.
Anyway the cookies have lasted about five minutes so there is some ice cream gently freezing ready for supper. We had some rhubarb given to us by Dunk's son Haydn last week, which was supposed to become a crumble, but instead has become some ice cream.
So here's what I did:
4/5 big stalks of rhubarb, stewed with a splash of water and a couple of spoonfuls of sugar, then cooled and whizzed in the liquidiser.
1/2 pint of custard, not too thick, cooled.
1/2 pint of double cream, whipped with a couple of teaspoons of castor sugar.
Stir it all together. Put in a nice clean old ice cream carton. Whack it in the freezer. I keep putting the timer on for 30 minutes and go back and stir it thoroughly (we don't have a fancy machine for doing this part) for the next few hours. I am guesssing it will probably be 4/5 hours until it is set.

Tuesday 12 May 2009

St Leonards Forest

My daughter M and I spent the weekend with my lovely sister Claire, her partner Geoff and her daughter N. In spite of the teenagers not wanting to do anything we dragged them for a walk in St Leonards Forest as it is only a few miles drive from where they live. And it was just so idyllic. We made our own path through the undergrowth, strolled across a bluebell scattered hillside and through sunlight dappled woods. This is not our photo, just a nice picture of some bluebells, as we were completely cut off from the outside world without mobile phone or camera, and amazingly came through the experience unscathed. We did not pass another person for over an hour, in spite of it being a popular spot for locals. It was another nostalgic moment for me as we used to do such walks frequently when the children were small, invariably someone would get wet or muddy, or both, and the trees would be thoroughly climbed. It is a much more civilised exercise with 'nearly grown-ups'.

A message arrived on Facebook from Tish saying:
"highlights so far:
went snorkling and saw coral reef
saw turtle laying eggs
baby turtles are the cutest thing in the world
saw wild orangutan and other monkeys
went in bat caves "
so I think that the trip is living up to expectations!

Wednesday 6 May 2009

Tish has gone to Borneo

My daughter Tish has finally gone to Borneo. We dropped her at college on Monday night as they were leaving for the airport at 3.30am. She texted at 3.30 to say they were leaving, and then to say they were getting on the plane and then to say they were in Dubai and then this morning to say they had arrived and that "the toilets are like a hole in the ground", so I don't doubt that this is going to be quite an experience.
And this is the whole gang (including visitors) gathered to see her off. I feel suddenly very conscious of her being on the other side of the world, it's the furthest away she has ever been from me. She has been waiting for this trip for two and a half years. It was the deciding factor in going to Hartpury that they did this trip every year.

Monday 4 May 2009

Rainbow homespun and camels

I am pleased with how my latest batch of homespun has turned out. It was a blended rainbow roving from Sarah's Texture Crafts (Sarah also runs a felting forum here.). There seemed to be a lot of blue as I spun but from some angles it is more green and yellow dominated. It is the fun of such projects that you are not sure quite how it will turn out. As usual I have a lovely hank of stuff and no idea what I might make with it, probably only enough for a scarf or something small.
When we were at the Cotswold Wildlife Park yesterday we saw a herd of these Bactrian Camels, not the most fascinating of animals ... but they were shedding big lumps of camel hair. If I had been allowed into the enclosure there could have been enough to make a jumper or two but as it was C, little M and I walked the entire periphery of the camel enclosure and collected a large fistful of somewhat grassy camel hair. There is a lovely variety of shades; pale cream through to really dark brown. I am going to have a go at spinning it and see how it turns out, so watch this space.

Sunday 3 May 2009

Cotswold Wildlife Park

Today we had the day out at the Cotswold Wildlife Park. It was pretty busy being a bank holiday but I think we got to see all our favourites. The Meerkats have always been top of the list in my book.

We were going to post a pile of crazily mislabelled photos as the girls found it very funny following people around who were telling their children the wrong names for animals:-)

Tish has blogged about the ring tailed lemurs over on her blog.

And it was so nice to find this: here is a picture of little M and C on a "swing and jump climbing frame" just the same as the one Lewis used to love when he was little.

Rowan Tree and Sophie's World

A variety of thoughts presented themselves this morning and they seemed somewhat linked. I had a moment on Friday when I wanted to have a rant because they had a discussion on the Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2 talking about yet another proposal by Ed Balls to reduce the school starting age. It got me so irate ... but then that programme always does because it brings out all the bigots and intolerant people (ok sometimes intelligent, reasonable ones too if I am honest). And then I started re-reading Sophie's World last night. I read about half of this book many years ago when it was new out but never finished it, it was probably a bit demanding for someone too taken up with small children. I found it in a charity shop recently so thought I would give it another go. It is so packed with ideas I thought I might write stuff about it as I go along. In the first chapter Sophie is presented with a few of the 'big questions' which immediately grab her interest. It is as if no one has ever talked to her seriously before or challenged her to think about anything real or important. Her immediate reaction to these ideas is that "at school she had trouble concentrating on what the teachers said. They seemed to talk only about unimportant things" and that they are "only concerned with trivialities". "Sophie felt that thinking about them (the questions) was more important than memorizing irregular verbs." You find comments like these scattered through life, literature and politics, and I find it unfathomable that people seem to remain convinced that school has something relevant to do with real growth and understanding and finding meaning.
So here you have this question; who are you? and in reality it is the thing that should concern people, particularly as they are growing their own sense of identity and place in the world. By coincidence I was sent the Rowan Tree newsletter (this comes from an online shop called Beneath the Rowan Tree that sells beautiful stuff for children) and it tells a lovely story about a little girl who thinks she is a fish, and how so often grownups desperately want children to basically 'not be children', often, I think, because it makes them too uncomfortable. But this kind of imagination is so important a part of thinking about 'who are you?'. She then quotes the lyrics of a song, and it is so heartbreaking (sorry, being mawkish) because it encapsulates what children lose in growing up (and it is killed stone dead when they go to school), it comes apparently from Trout Fishing in America:

Back When I Could Fly

I used to be invisible, a shape changing magic kid.
I could move at the speed of thought and frequently I did,
But my greatest accomplishment was a slow and looping glide.
I saw the tops of everything,
back when I could fly.

I'd take my daily nap on the highest leafy branch,
And follow shooting stars on a comet's fiery lance.
I was quite the prodigy, when I owned the sky.
I never thought I'd have to walk,
back when I could fly.

Keep your eye on the ball, your feet on solid ground.
Always sit up straight and tall and never make a sound.
In just a few short years, I learned not to be a child,
And I forgot the things I had when I was wild.

Now, my child, you'll learn arithmetic, coloring and sports.
You'll have a flair for nouns and verbs, and be late with book reports.
But in spite of all the rules that bind your wings so tight,
I hope you won't forget about the days when you could fly.

I'd take my daily nap on the highest leafy branch,
And follow shooting stars on a comet's fiery lance.
I was quite the prodigy, when I owned the sky.
I never thought I'd have to walk,
I never had to try,
Back when I could fly.

Saturday 2 May 2009

Raking the Ashes

Raking the Ashes by Anne Fine. I picked this up in the library the other day because I once read 'Telling Liddy' and really enjoyed it. I did not enjoy this one. Which is a strange thing to say when I started it Thursday and sat up until 11pm last night to finish the book. It only really has two characters, and they are both so awful it became compulsive reading. The comment from the Observer on the front cover says; " there is something terrifyingly recognisable in each of the characters that will have readers looking deep inside their souls", and never was a truer comment made about a book. I kept reading and thinking 'do I do that?' They are not nice people, both weak and selfish and their relationship is just about the worst I have ever read, and you get some pretty dysfunctional relationships in books. Tilly is an engineer who works on oil rigs, she lives her life exactly as it pleases her, coming and going at her own convenience, having lovers and taking her partner, Geoff, totally for granted. Geoff, on the surface, is a wonderful man. He pampers and indulges Tilly, takes care of her, but at the same time remains under the thumb of his ex-wife. He is so desperate for an easy life that he brushes over and refuses to acknowledge any problems or difficulties, thinking that if he ignores them they will go away. But Tilly is right when she says that she is simply a thing on a pedestal, to be adored but never treated as part of his family. His two children come in and out of his life, and to give Tilly her due she does seem to work quite hard to forge a relationship with them, even doing her best to offer care and support when their mother develops cancer. But all through their relationship she is left on the sidelines of his family. It seems out of character, because in reality she has no desire to be 'in' the family, but just seems to resent the exclusion on principle. Geoff meanwhile is frittering away all his assets, his business, his own flat and father's house, all to provide his ex-wife with money for wacky alternative therapies. He is such a doormat you wonder at times why they got divorced in the first place because she still seems to love walking all over him. So they potter through nearly 20 years like this, Tilly planning to leave every time she discovers some new slight, Geoff living in his own little wonderland where nothing bad ever happens, kidding himself that everything will come out all right. I found I hardly cared whether she left or not, because in reality they kind of deserved each other, but I wanted to see what twist she gave to the ending.... and all in all I doubt that Tilly ever felt a moment of remorse.