a bit of spinning

Having mooched around for a couple of days I am trying not to waste the last bit of sick leave so I dug out some roving yesterday to try out a little experiment I had been thinking of. It is distinctly amateurish, broken in places, fuzzy in places, lumpy in places and very uneven, but I kind of like it. It is spun (still on the drop spindle) mainly in a very dark blue merino with little scraps of leftover colour added randomly in by hand. Some are little tiny and some quite long, some one colour at a time and some have two or three twisted in together. It's not very long, maybe 50g, (I'm not sure if some of the 100g I started with had been used for something else) and measured by my "approximately 1 metre each wrap round the table" method it is about 75 metres, so we are probably talking a skinny scarf-let.

p.s that's Holly, the anti-social cat.

old favourites

Now I have a copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas sitting round the living room for a reason. It was one of those divorce things ... he ended up with a big chunk of the children's book collection ... so I have been intermittently rebuilding it. There are certain books that I think children should not grow up without, and a substantial collection of Dr Seuss comes high on the list. I found a copy of Grinch in a charity shop, a lovely hardback in immaculate condition for 75p, but then it got pushed onto the small bookcase behind the living room door and forgotten.

M and I were just sitting yesterday morning, I was on the computer and she picked the book up and started reading it aloud to me for fun. Half way through I picked up the rhythm of the story and started reciting it from memory along with her. It was a lovely nostalgia moment for me because I must have read the book hundreds of times when the children were younger, and not just around Christmas. Now I am not sentimental about Christmas, in fact with the lack of little people around now I resist joining in with the enforced jollity, but this is a nice little story essentially about the importance of belonging.

The Grinch looks down on the Whos , all happily preparing for Christmas, and decides to steal it from them. So he sneaks into all their houses and steals all their present and decorations and food. Then of course, when he pauses to look back and enjoy their misery he finds that Christmas still arrives, without all the trimmings. The Whos still celebrate, and of course forgive him and welcome him back when he has a miraculous change of heart and returns all the stolen goodies.

The one that was really part of the Christmas preparations when the children were growing up was 'Mole and Troll Trim the Tree'. We did read this only at Christmas. Two friends decide to share a tree one Christmas but end have a huge row about how to decorate their tree. They throw things, and then one of them storms out, Troll I think, taking all his decorations with him. But they make up, and in the end decide to put everything in the world on their tree, so much so that there was hardly any tree showing by the time they finish. This appealed to us because we were an 'everything in the world on your tree' kind of family.

It is funny how traditions come about, and I suppose that when your life experiences such upheaval as ours did you find you need to make new ones. I look back fondly on things I did with my kids when they were growing up ... and I look forward now to new things we will do, the potential for new traditions in the future. So I buy children's books that I have loved, hopefully to share with my grandchildren one day.

Christmas is upon us:-(

So we know Christmas is on it's way in our house when my first card arrives. This comes the last week of November every year from the Chairman of Royal Mail with a couple of sheets of first class stamps (a small Christmas perk) and then I have to give in to the fact that we are in for a busy few weeks. Add to that I caught M on Sunday morning watching Christmas pop music on the telly, so I gave in and sat with her for a while to watch a few old favourites.

I am finally pretty much ready to go back to work. Having been off for three weeks now I reflected that this is has been the longest stretch in which I have sat about and done nothing since I was pregnant with Lewis 22 years ago. It has been nice to spend some time with my girls, but it is very easy to get used to the free time and the nice lie in, not a good habit for a postlady.

Strange titles

Rape a love story by Joyce Carol Oates

It seems somehow wrong to put the words 'rape' and 'love' together in a book title. It is almost as if doing so undermines the horror with which which rape should be viewed. It is a testament to Joyce Carol Oates that she can do this, and when you read the book you know why.

This is a short novel. I started it before dinner and sat reading until the middle of the night because I did not want to put it down. In common with other stories that concern rape it is really about the aftermath, and the long term impact that it has on all parties.

The opening description of the rape itself is shocking and frightening. The violence leaves physical damage, but it is the fear that ensues that leaves the real lasting mark. I think maybe that Joyce was not sure which line to pursue. You get the court room scene where the defense lawyer turns the case on it's head by claiming that the drunken and scantily clad victim had agreed to 'sex for money' and the suspects were not guilty and had played no part in the beating that nearly killed her. The whole 'she was asking for it' defense that causes so much anger then becomes more of a subplot to the daughter's experiences.

The book is mostly written as if the author were talking quietly, almost confidentially, to the daughter and it is her experience and her relationship with Drumoor (the policeman) that dominates much of the story. Maybe 'relationship' is the wrong word. He is the first person on the scene when Bethie crawls from her hiding place and goes for help, and they are somehow bound together by the shared events of that night. He sends flowers to the hospital and then she sees him again in court. It is not until she observes him from her bedroom window bringing her mother home one night that she realises who he is and his promise of help 'any hour of the day or night' comes to be accepted at face value. As hers and her mother's lives become swamped by the fear they cannot escape it is Drumoor who knows what needs to be done, and has the means to follow through. They don't exchange a word and he does not need any acknowledgement for his help. In fact everything that happens is merely implied, the reader is left to assume that it is his actions that save them.

You also get brief insights into the thoughts of the perpetrators, seeing their reaction to the consequences of their actions. Their continued justification of their actions and lack of remorse is evident. You do come to feel a modicum of pity as they start to fully grasp these consequences, their friends avoid them and girls don't want to have anything to do with them, but the pity is never going to move in the direction of forgiveness.

But it is not a book about a man saving a woman. It is about rape taking away power from the victim and how it takes a person who really understands to help them regain control of life. It is also a commentary on the fact that the justice system still lets down rape victims, still blames rape victim for the crime, and that the victim must seek some resolution to their fear by other means.

I was disconcerted by the fact that the main character is called Martine. I don't see my own name in print very often and it made me feel more intimately connected with the story. I guess people with more common names don't necessarily experience this, but I often feel very proprietorial about my name.

Innocents abroad

Pedals and Petticoats: on the road in post-war Europe by Mary Elsy

This is my first book in the Women Unbound reading challenge. I picked it out because I like books that are historical but with what you might call 'human interest'. It is also about the history of women's experience. You hear quite a lot about how the two world wars changed the lives of women, but how after their heroic contribution to the war effort they were expected to return to their former lives, though I am thinking this was less so after WW2. This group of young women however would have been teenagers during the war and it is 1951 when they decide to embark on an epic journey around Europe by bicycle. What they did was quite remarkable at the time, there was still very little tourism and for young women to travel like this was most unconventional. Their journey feels somewhat symbolic of the post-war optimism, that anything now was possible and there was a bright new future. It was interesting to read that in spite of the widespread poverty that they encountered there was real warmth in the welcome they received wherever they went, and although, through a kind of bizarre naivety, they were very trusting and got themselves into some potentially dangerous situations, there were never any real threats to their safety. I describe them as 'innocents' because it seems that they launched into the journey with a youthful enthusiasm, with very little idea of what they would encounter and how they would communicate with the locals. They are frequently rescued from difficulties by gallant english speaking gentlemen who sort out their problems with a flourish, find them places to stay and entertain them with amusing anecdotes.

The writing has a little of the 'Enid Blyton' about it, feeling quite dated, though the book was only published in 2005. It is merely a description of where they went, who they met, what they ate and places they stayed. I was hoping for a little more about the lives of the people they encountered, but really the focus of the story is their journey, with far too much about bike problems and how it was difficult to find somewhere to wash their clothes. It was interesting reading in terms of understanding their expectations and attitudes to their experiences. 'Stoic' would be an appropriate word. They put up with not inconsiderable discomfort and inconvenience at times without much complaint. On their own they were a pretty resourceful bunch, but the moment a helpful man appears on the scene they defer totally to his decisions and seem incapable of asserting themselves. I tried not to be irritated by this but it was a recurring pattern throughout the story.

Mary writes a brief epilogue describing what each of them did afterwards. I noticed straight away that only one of the four got married, and mused on whether it was some reflection of their adventurous spirit, that they were not the marrying kind, was this my 'feminist slant' that marked them out as career women ... and then I thought that this was the case for many women after the war, that there were fewer men around to marry.

Post Script 24th November: I realised that this is a slightly dismissive review and I didn't want people to think I did not admire the achievement of these women, it was quite an astounding journey. It was just the book I didn't like.

Gilmore Girls and all that

We reached the end of our Gilmore Girls marathon yesterday and it felt kind of sad. 153 episodes, many many hours of watching, often late into the evening, with far too much tea being drunk (on my part) and far too much time spent on Happy Aquarium (by the girls). It is one of those stories where you can really allow yourself to get attached to the characters and it has been a source of much heated debate over the last two weeks. The whole Dean/Jess/Logan problem is unlikely ever to be resolved.

Anyway I have realised that I am way behind on my '52 books in 52 weeks' reading challenge, I may have to resort to something very brief over Christmas to make up the numbers. So, ignoring that, or rather alongside that, I came across another challenge on the Women Unbound blog which I decided to participate in. I have added one of their nice buttons to my sidebar.

The basic idea is to read books by or about women, but with a feminist slant, so not just any old book by a woman. With this in mind I have made a tentative selection:

• Pedals and Petticoats by Mary Elsy. I am currently reading this. I bought it from the library and although written more recently it is the story (biographical I am assuming) of a group of girls cycling around Europe in the post-war period.
• Spinsters Abroad by Dea Birkett. Also bought in the library and is about Victorian lady explorers, taken from writings and diaries of women travelling as women alone.
• The Whole Woman by Germaine Greer. Feminist tome. This has been on the list as 'currently reading' for some time now, so this is an excuse to get it back out and read the rest.
• Rape by Joyce Carol Oates. Bought in a charity shop on the spur of the moment as I had read some of her short stories. Subtitled, A love story.
• Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys. This has been on my 'to read' list for many a year, since my mum recommended it when she read it, I think I may have been in sixth form. It is the story of the mad woman in the attic, Mrs Rochester, from Jane Eyre. It seems like a good choice for this challenge.

I may add more depending on enthusiasm or interest. the challenge includes what is called a 'meme'. Now these things seem to abound in blogland so it seems to be a compulsory part of participating in and linking to such challenges, so here goes:

1. What does feminism mean to you? Does it have to do with the work sphere? The social sphere? How you dress? How you act?

I think it is a way of looking critically at the world and society and not allowing yourself to be limited or controlled by your gender. I guess for me it has been symbolised by using the title 'Ms' which i have done consistently since the age of about 16, since historically a woman's marital status has been such a significant defining feature of her life, and this title was a means to reject such labels.

2. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Why or why not?

Yes. Because entrenched attitudes take far longer than you might think to change.

3. What do you consider the biggest obstacle women face in the world today? Has that obstacle changed over time, or does it basically remain the same?

To stop the word 'feminist' having such negative connotations. And other women who think that they owe nothing to feminism or that it has nothing more to offer them. I also think women forgetting their history is an obstacle to the future. I talk to my daughters about the way life used to be for women, and how the things they take for granted were hard won.

Olive Kitteridge

I am not sure why this edition has a picture of a young woman in a party dress on it, it gives totally the wrong impression. The other images I found were of a dried leaf which seems much better. Not that Olive Kitteridge should be compared to a dried leaf, in fact she is a woman of much suppressed emotion. I quite like the Wikipedia page (linked above) as it very helpfully lists all the characters appearing in each of the stories and how they are linked. I was thrown initially because the first story is not about Olive at all, but her husband Henry. And then the second story wasn't about her either, and I started to wonder if this was just a collection of short stories and I had misunderstood the title. But as I read on it became clear that Olive, as well are being an integral character to the stories, acts as a kind of glue that holds it all together.

She is most definitely a fearsome woman. This has to be her defining characteristic and the abiding impression that the other members of her community have of her. A former elementary school teacher she appears in several stories simply as that: a fleeting mention of the memory of a fearsome character from the childhood of whoever the story happens to concern. Olive is already old, in her early seventies, and the only thing you know of her earlier life is that she inspired fear; not respect or affection or admiration, but fear.

The front cover asks the question, "What will you make of her?" I am not sure I have an answer to that. She is quite the most impenetrable character I have ever read about. You see her relationship with her husband, and with her son and with some of the people in her community, not necessarily friends, just people she knows, but you learn far more about them than you do about Olive. I have just one quote that I felt, as soon as I read it, sums her up. Her husband Henry brings her some flowers and hugs her, and then "She stood, waiting for the hug to end." (story entitled Tulips, p.146) I could actually see her, stood there, not stiff and resisting, just polite and uncomprehending, as if she was not quite sure what a hug was. To put it bluntly this woman gives very little away, especially affection. I think that what you most notice about good writing is that you don't notice it. You don't trip over clumsy phrases or get irritated by boring or, alternatively, pretentious vocabulary. It just flows off the page without having to struggle or finding yourself picking fault with the way things are said. So you don't get the impression with this book that it is some kind of clumsy device that Olive appears (even most passingly) in all of these stories, and although it doesn't read quite like a novel it also doesn't read like a collection of discrete stories either. I like the book mostly because I like 'small town america' type fiction. I went through a bit of an Anne Tyler phase a couple of years ago and what they have in common is the very ordinariness of the people and their lives.

I would definitely highly recommend this book. It is about, as much as anything else, old age, and the process of reflection. In fact now I think back many of the characters are looking back on what was and what might have been, and what is and how it got that way. Possibly not one to go with if you are already feeling a bit melancholy but one to provoke much thought. The book apparently won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. The list of somewhat longer than the Orange Prize list so I am not planning to try and tackle it, but there are certainly a few more suggestions there that I will come back to in the future.