Tuesday, 25 August 2009

How to put together a chest of drawers

You know how awful it is when an inanimate object manages to make you feel stupid ... well it started out as one of those experiences, but turned out okay in the end.
  1. Get your tools first and clear a bit of space in the living room ... you can do this, but where's the fun if you don't have to search under piles of junk for that missing piece.
  2. Do the job with a friend but not with a man, they will make it twice as hard. To give Dunk some credit he is not that kind of bloke, so he could hear us struggling but he didn't come down and interfere, and I have successfully constructed two book cases with him.
  3. When things start to go wrong do not throw a tantrum and blame the whole capitalist system that culminated in the existence of Ikea.
  4. Promise yourself you will one day have enough money to buy furniture that has already been put together.
  5. If in doubt experiment for a bit but *do not* bodge it together or you will only regret it in the end.
  6. Look at the pictures properly so you don't put the drawers together inside out and have to start again. And always count the holes because sometimes two bits of wood can look very similar.
So the little bolty things that were supposed to lock on to the screws were not working. It was exactly the same as making the book cases so I knew how it was going to go together. After struggling with it for half an hour I realised that the holes were just a little too deep and that we needed to have the screws not quite screwed down tightly in order for it to lock on properly. It was one of those 'eureka' moments as Tish and I realised at the same moment what we needed to do. And after that it was plain sailing.
And here is the big poopy mess that has to go in to it (or rather part of it, the rest is on the floor to the side of the photo.) Though now Tish needs one of those little toddler steps so she can reach on top to feed the rats.


  1. I must admit, I struggle to get past step 3 :)

  2. Well done - the end result looks great. Just imagine if the instructions that came with self-assembly furniture had helpful hints like that. Instead the ones we get always seem to be written in code by an illiterate person whose native tongue is not English. OK, I couldn't write Chinese instructions for assembling something but I have the good grace not to try!


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